Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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penis

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops