What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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