Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

thumb_up thumb_down +31

fava beans

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +31

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

thumb_up thumb_down +31

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops