Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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