A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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