Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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lol a man is drowning

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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