what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops