- Anti Joke

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

whats dead and gone your nanas cat

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

melon

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?