How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

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GONNA

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Ebola

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Deadly cancer.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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wanna here a joke??? read below...

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The Pope

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops