- Anti Joke

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

i like turtals and kids

A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

i like turtals and kids

A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

Anti Joke

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MOAR??