roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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what's the difference between a black man and a lift? both can raise babies, a part from the black man

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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Woman.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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I pooped my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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