Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops