Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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Hearpin my durp

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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Nothing yet CC

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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