why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

Barack Obama

Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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