-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

What did the fish say? Moo

Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

Why did he die? He was sick.

Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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