Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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