Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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