Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Knock Knock.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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