Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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you will like this because i am black.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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Gustavo Andrade

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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