What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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knock knock Goodbye

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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How old are you? 7

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops