Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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My cat just died.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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69

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Death by kayak

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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