What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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