A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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69

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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