Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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69

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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