Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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