Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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A pope meets another one

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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. . I am a whale

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops