A russian gives away vodka.

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

24

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

knock knock... ...no answer

Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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