i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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