What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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