Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

Paper or plastic? Yes...

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...