Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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poo

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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SHUT UP JP

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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