My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops