You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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what has genitial warts? me

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops