What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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autistic kids rock

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Dwarf Shortage

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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