Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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