Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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