What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

well use a tissue!

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

An Irishman walked out of a bar

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

FUCK YOU

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...