How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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America

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops