whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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whats white jizz

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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