Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man at school the janitor

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops