What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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