How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club. :|

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Boner

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops