Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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