how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

i have aids and a chode

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

penis

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

William Raines.

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

The Aristocrats

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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