I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

thumb_up thumb_down -32

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops