A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops