Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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whats black? the colour

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops