How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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