you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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