Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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