Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops