If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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penisvaginaorgasm

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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