Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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