Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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what is 3+3= 8

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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