A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why so serious ?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What would u like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

69

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This is an anti- joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

antonis sister is mighty fine

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops