What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops