What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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