A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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