roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops