Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Who is it?

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops